I can’t be the only writer with this pesky voice in my head:
If X happens, that must be a sign from God saying you should not be writing this book.
If Y happens, that’s God telling me not to write at all.
Why did you ever think you could be a writer?
Just stop wasting your time.
We all have insecurities that like to raise their ugly heads and tell us that we’re not good enough, why do we even bother?
We just have to keep punching those voices in the face and keep plugging ahead.
Even when faced with rejection. (If you remember I entered the Genesis Contest and they just published their semi-final list this week. I never expected to be on that list – but still, I suppose I was hanging onto to a small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe I’d make it. I didn’t. Yes, even though I told myself not to get my hopes up, it still hurt a little. Now I can’t wait to see what all they have to say about what I can do to make it better.)
My mind is still not my own. I’m having a hard time concentrating on writing – but I’m doing it. In little tiny bits. I’m not cranking out 2,000 words a day – or even 20 some days. I’ve been known to open my Scrivener document and take more words out than I’ve put in. But it’s all part of the writing process. No matter if my word count is still hovering around 87,000.
I’m not giving up. No matter what the voices in my head try to tell me. No matter the many different directions life is pulling me.
So instead of the other voices trying to gain control of my mind, I try to drown them out with my own mantra:
I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer. I am a writer.
Maybe one day I’ll actually believe it.